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On Boxing Day an old lady got me into a fight with a bus driver. As I was backing out of my house I had to wait for the bus parked half-way across my drive, as is commonplace (since I live right behind a very busy bus stop). I have long resigned myself to the carelessness of bus drivers as annoying quirk of The Ric, since all efforts to change ithe situation have been totally futile. Anyway, so this old lady sees my predicament and starts tsk-tsking about how rude it is of the bus driver and how he could easily not be in my way, etc etc. At this unexpected support I express grattitude and resignation, but then she announces that she's goint to go tell the bus driver to move for me herself! Before I can get a word in she's off and emerges shortly thereafter shaking her head angrily and gives me an apologetic look, to which I give her the 'hey, what can you do?' shrug. Seconds after that, the bus driver storms out and heads straight for us. "Shit," I think, "he's gonna have a go at the lady!" But no, he heads for me, shoves his hairy, squinty-eyed face almost into my car, and proceededs to give me an earfull about sending other people to do my dirty work, and how I can come ask myself in future, etc. I tell him that, having lived in this house for 4 years, I have found that asking nicely has never helped my cause and that the old lady had acted on her own accord after seeing him park his bus over my drive like a fucking doucebag (except I didn't actually use the term 'fucking douchebag', there were kids at the bus stop watching). I didn't get smart to him even once!! This is a serious achievement for me. It all culminated in him telling me I could 'go to hell', the old ladies (who by now had somehow multiplied) shaking their heads in dissaproval at Popeye the Aggro Busdriver, and me getting the fuck out of there at the next possible gap in the traffic and giving him a grin and a wave and yelling 'Merry christmas buddy!' Hilarious. In other news, had brilliant night out at a mate's gig at High Street Project last night with The K-Dog, The B-Dog and Conrad Brownpants - much dancing, drinking and general shennans. It was a massive indie kid orgie, everyone was in tight pants and oversized tops and coloured sunglasses. Saw waaaaay too many people I know. Looks like I still have a finger or two in the metaphorical indie pie.
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Ah, another successful halloween party at The Ric! Thanks so much to everyone who came along dressed up so hard-out, my sock have been 100% rocked off. For photos please proceed in an orderly fashion to my FB or Marsden's photo page, and feel free to pester slothphil for more, I know he has some good ones. And thanks especially to the people who helped me clean up, shift my couches, vacuume the months-worth of crap off the floor and stop the stereo from giving people electric shocks.Oh, finally - lost and found. I have in my possesion: 1 revlon pink lipgloss 1 raver bracelt with the soft uv glowing spikey things 1 red pitchfork 1 pirate hook 1 bunch fake pink flowers This party tends to mark the official Summer at The Ric period, when the parties are plentiful and we crack out J's pimpin' paddle pool, so watch this space!
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That's right kiddies, it's time to bust out the bedsheets and facepaint for another halloween at The Ric! No, it's not too good to be true! And now the 411, x-posted of sorts from my Facebook:
This event is legendary. Ask your mum. Or the zombie jesus, hawaiian mummy, giant crab or the man on the giant stilts. (some testaments here) Costume is mandatory! Those who fail to wear a costume will be wearing the Dead Man's Undies(TM). For more information please contact Brendon Kelly. RSVP :) ( Photographic evidence from last year.... )
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I insisted on taking a photo when J alerted me to a 'big blowfly bee thingy' making itself at home in our lounge. ( What the fuck IS that!? )
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Saw Bill Bailey last night - awesome. Managed to then lose half an avocado somewhere between my place and the Dolls' House...while driving. This remains a mystery. Just got home to find we have a flat inspection - today. Nowish. Flat is a bohemian mess. Ah well, can't be bothered cleaning, I have too much to do. It probably won't be a problem, thankfully. God I love The Ric :)
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This afternoon The J-Dog and I went to the RSPCA and took another step towards becoming crazy old cat ladies. Behold!!!!  Kitty is about a year old and was a stray from (conveniently) Upper Riccarton. She's a pretty tortoiseshell colour with lots of black and crazy square orange patterns on her side, like she's been attacked by a cubist. She likes vegetarian sushi, the bar heater, and playing with bottlecaps. So far she goes by the name of Kitty/Cat-Face/Neiko-chan/Wesley, but we're still deciding. Suggestions welcome. We need a name as badass as B-Dog's flat cat, known as Battle Titan. The J-Dog is happier than I've seen her in awhile :) 
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Does anyone want any free teacups or teapots?
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Yesterday I found that our soon-to-be-terminated old flat account was in debt by the ball-breaking sum of $667. Naturally, this alarmed me, but I dealt with it using the time-honoured Ignore It and It'll Go Away approach. Awesomely, through some kinda of presumably magical event, this seems to have worked; as of this morning, the account is $10 in credit. Hey, I'm not complaining, but I AM going to close the account today before they can shaft me again. BONUS ROUND: Our internet company has been screwing us soundly for 2 weeks now, and the this morning the cheeky mo fos had the nerve to bill me for a month of internet usage - of which we've had 2 weeks of ACTUAL internet usage, 6 fruitless hours on the phone to customer support, a few tantrums and a whole lot of badly-covered lies on their part. However, the joke is on them: I'm about to close the account they take their payment from. If they want their money they can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers, bitches :D Oh yeah, it is the day of my birthing today. I'll be at the foundry about 6pm to meet konstantine_vi if anyone else wishes swing by and talk some smack!* Last night I ended up at the Mexican Cafe, where CK and I managed to drink 4 jugs of passionfruit margurrita before blackfenris quested through the intense wind, rain, battling with Ramrod's tempermental gears and heating system to come and drive our drunk asses home.What a champion :) Right, back to 'work'. God, I now know more about snapper than I ever care to. *By 'talk smack' I don't mean 'buy me a birthday beer', I seriously mean talk smack. However, celebratory beers will not be turned away.
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Looks like The Ric may have suffered another burglary; Dr Gonzo's laptop and J's external hard drive are suspiciously absent from the lounge. Don't know any more than that at this point, but I hope it turns up :S
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So arrived back in Churchur on Saturday night with a view to surprising Mr Fenris, who wasn't expecting me home for another week.
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Really, really good deal, room, flatmates, the lot! Must be laid back, as have to live with Dr Gonzo, but good times a guarentee! Does anyone know *anyone* looking for a flat?
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We have monarch catterpillars on our swanplant! They hatched on the sly! Extreme excitement! (Photo posted out of childlike joy rather than display of photography skills)
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The Ric has received a complaint letter from our neighbours containing low-level engrish! Our offences include rogue overhanging trees, and brilliantly, excessive noise: "There are many times our customers complain about the noise caused by the tenants in your property. Sometimes they have party over midnight." Fuck me! Hilariously, this is letter was clearly intended for our landlord, who doesn't even live in NZ. Why our neighbours gave the letter directly to us, the offending tenants in question, is beyond me but I feel this stupidity may cost him; I think I'll call him and pretend to be our land agent. Hehe. Will our heroes be be beaten into silent submission by the evil Manic Motel Manager? Or will they fight back with cunning, guile, and an afternoon slip'n'slide party? Tune in next week!
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Today has ruled exceptionally hard. Last night I got a surprise visit from The Jester, my friend who sneaked all the way from Dunedin to my front door just in time for dinner. We've spent today sitting in the sun sporadically spraying each other with the hose, gardening, playing guitar, eating icecream in a cone and in my case, getting stung by bumblebees and driving scooters into my house! Not at the same time, of course. konstantine_vi made the mistake of letting me drive her scooter round the yard against both of our better judgement - drink had been taken, and the yard seemed so unthreatening. It turns out that scooters are harder to drive than they look... when I careened into the side of the house (at a sedate pace) the thing wobbled and fell over, trapping my big toe and pwning me on the thigh and knee. I now have sexy battle scars :D Ah, the joy and the pain - today was a worthwhile mix!
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The Ric Halloween Party - great success! I suspected it would be as much because a) I wasn't excited about it for some reason, b) it was the first big party here this season, c) it was dress-up, d) about 7pm I found The Incredible Hulk standing in my bathtub looking sheepish. We did experience minor douche-bag issues with a bunch of monkeys who took offence to a boy wearing a dress. I set Dr Gonzo on them which got them to go away. Mind you, the sight of a muscular, tattooed dude sporting a curly mullet and clad only in a pair of pasley boxers and 5 meters of shredded calico would be enough to frighten anyone normal. The douche-bags returned later to engage in a drive-by egging. Assholes. Apart from that it was pretty sweet though! And now I give you a white-trash mummy chasing zombie-jesus...through my back yard. 
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pleased
cheerful
excited
curious
apathetic
thankful
relaxed
cranky
bored
anxious
hopeful
devious
hot
happy